II Corinthians 11:12-13
12 But I will continue doing what I have always done. This will undercut those who are looking for an opportunity to boast that their work is just like ours. 13 These people are false apostles. They are deceitful workers who disguise themselves as apostles of Christ.
If you are looking for a job with little variety and no surprises, then Senior Pastor is not the call for you. In no way am I complaining, just stating the facts. Being a Pastor of a local Church is a job that is really a medley of tasks that are as predictable as the weather or the stock market. Of course, over the years I have learned to build in some consistency in my day to day schedule. Even still, there is really no way to plan for or have realistic expectations for the variety of problems or hurdles that a pastor encounters in the course of a regular work week. Flexibility and willingness to be a lifelong learner is a necessity if you want to make it as a full-time minister. Personally, this call has suited me well. As a millennial who made it to adulthood without ever being diagnosed with ADD, but most certainly having some, if not all of the indicators of an overactive/overstimulated mind, there might not be a better profession for me. The Lord knew that the pressure of variety would be the perfect fit for my personality. The variety would not overwhelm me, but rather I would thrive in the nuance and unpredictability of ministry life.
His placement of my life in this position is further proof that He has the best plans any of us could ever imagine for each of our lives.
All this to say, one of the many titles I have embraced under the call of Pastor is one that has taken some time to grow into, “Conflict Resolution Specialist”.
This part of the job is something I struggled with early on, but I am beginning to find my stride in only 4 short years. I get the privilege to help people find resolution that honors God when and if they have conflict with other people, which, believe it or not, is more frequent than you would think. Every so often because being a leader comes with criticism, sometimes the issue or conflict someone is experiencing is with me, the Pastor.
Again in the beginning of my call, the idea that someone was upset with or didn't like me was very threatening and intimidating. It was hard to stomach that there would be people who didn’t appreciate my leadership style or decision making. Even worse there could be people who just didn't like me for more personal reasons. Whatever the case and whatever the issue, learning to be a Pastor who leads faithfully even when some I am leading are upset with me, has been a learning experience. A process of refinement, and a divine tool that the Holy Spirit has used to grow me, personally, professionally, and spiritually in ways I’d never imagine. Although at times it can be difficult, I remain grateful for all Jesus has accomplished through gaining wisdom in the midst of conflict resolution.
Over the years I have developed some key pre-decided attitudes to embrace whenever someone takes issue with me as a leader or just doesn't like me personally because of my position. Those attitudes being…
Never take criticism personally.
Try to understand the person criticizing you, point of view with grace and compassion.
Speak slowly and listen intently with a deep desire to understand fully.
Never say something behind someone's back you are not willing to say to them publicly.
Be humble and willing to receive criticism that is true, and quickly move on from criticism that is a misconception or false.
Remind yourself that your identity is not in a title or people's opinion but solely in Jesus Christ.
And finally something that Paul writes about in dealing with the accusations of the false apostles he is referencing in the Scripture above, don’t allow it to distract you from what you know you're supposed to be doing.
This last point is probably one that is often overlooked by many leaders. When we are weak in our identity or insecure in our faith, the simplest slight of criticism from another can derail us from the work we know we are supposed to be doing.
I know from past experience, when I feel insecure about what I am doing, even the smallest criticism can cause a roadblock in the work I am called to do. In the past, resistance from others would lead me into a spiral of questioning everything I had set out to do for the Lord.
As I have grown in ministry and matured in Christ I have discovered that one of the greatest indicators that I am moving forward in the call of God is cries of criticism from those who are insecure in their own faith walk. Boldness and confidence provokes irritation in those who live fearfully. More so, I have learned that those who are criticizing can be very beneficial to accomplishing what God is calling me to if I have the right heart posture before them and God.
Have you ever heard the expression, “eat the meat but spit out the bones.”?
When enduring criticism we can receive the parts of the criticism that are helpful and strengthen our endeavors, while spitting out the parts that would stall or choke out what we are called to do. Because just like your grandfather's fishing stories, criticisms no matter how grand or embellished they seem, usually are built on granules of helpful truth. When we are mature in Christ we can digest these small portions of truth and spit the embellishments and antagonism out as we move forward.
If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise.
-Proverbs 15:31
Learning how to receive criticism but continuing faithfully forward in our work is a spiritual discipline that is developed only once you’ve experienced it. But as Paul writes above, regarding his arrogant accusers, we must never allow accusation or criticism to choke or stall out the work Jesus has commanded us to do. In fact, we should have the attitude Christ had in His mission towards Calvary. We can have faith and be resolved that the Father will use the criticism to accomplish His purpose in us if we continue forward.
If we allow ourselves to quit when we receive criticism, did we really ever believe what we were doing was a call from God? Or were we doing something we thought would garner attention and approval from our peers? If we allow the criticism of others to quickly knock us off our path, who are we actually being obedient too? Are we being obedient to God’s voice or the voice of those we seek approval from? Criticism is not exclusive to pastors and leaders. All of us are going to endure scrutiny and criticism at some point in our life, if we want to accomplish anything significant. Will you lean into the call from God and let the criticism propel you forward, or will you allow it to stop you in your tracks and give up on the call?
Love,
Pastor John
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